There are a lot of women that are afraid to get pregnant at all right now, even with a wanted pregnancy, because they’re afraid if there’s a complication they’ll be left to die because physicians are afraid of being prosecuted for providing “abortions” even if it’s medically necessary. I cannot advocate for killing an innocent baby that had no choice in its conception… but we can’t focus on saving the babies and see the women as incubators. If we take away safe abortion access at this point, they’ll still find unsafe ways to try to have it done. Women AND babies will continue to die. We need to focus on the majority of the reasons that abortions are being done, and fix the source of the problem.
When you say that you’re pro-life, pro-choice people always ask “what about rape/incest or when the life of the mother is at risk?”. One of pro-lifers big argument points is how awful late-term abortion is. Abortions at or after 21 weeks are uncommon and represent 1% of all abortions in the U.S. Ninety-six percent occurred at or before 15 weeks gestation, while 3% occurred from 16 to 20 weeks gestation. Also, abortions due to rape/incest or the life of the mother being at risk account for less than 1% of abortions combined. So, the extreme points for both sides account for a very small percentage of total abortions…
For a long time, it’s been accepted in the medical community that fetuses do not experience pain until 24-25 weeks gestation, but pain receptors begin to form at around 7 weeks, and the nerves that connect these receptors to the brain form between 12–20 weeks. Current neuroscientific evidence indicates the possibility of fetal pain during the first trimester.
I’m pro-LIFE. Pro-life for the mother. Pro-life for the baby. If the mother’s life is at risk and she isn’t going to survive to give birth, obviously her life should be saved. It’s insane that that should ever be a question. Tubal pregnancies, incomplete miscarriages, life threatening condtions, obviously that should be considered healthcare, NOT optional or criminalized. But if those life threatening conditions occur late enough in the pregnancy that the baby could survive, obviously it should be attempted to save both the mother and child.
The overwhelming majority of abortions are elective, and done out of convenience. I don’t believe it’s an easy choice for most people that have chosen to have one… but the need for abortions shouldn’t be such a common thing that it requires whole clinics running primarily on providing abortion services. Abortions should be rare, medically necessary, and preformed in safe, regular medical settings for actual medical reasons.
Rather than focusing on whether abortion should be allowed or not though, why don’t we start focusing on the reasons that over 95% of abortions are being done? Something needs done that focuses on helping to prevent unwanted pregnancies in the first place.
Some ideas:
Allow women to get their tubes tied when they request it, and make reversal free if they change their mind later in life. My mom had her tubes tied, she had a reversal done 13 years later and got pregnant with my brother and then me. Getting your tubes tied doesn’t have to be for forever, but it can provide a lot of peace of mind for women that are afraid of having children at this time in their lives. This is not something that should require a man’s approval, this should be a woman’s right to choose.
Make birth control/condoms free. Period.
Provide support and resources for women that find themselves struggling with an unplanned pregnancy. Provide financial and social support for the woman and the child even AFTER the pregnancy is over. We can’t just force women to go through with an inconvenient pregnancy and raise that child all alone, that’s just asking for bad outcomes. The woman’s mental health and the child’s needs to be considered. If that woman doesn’t feel like she would be a good mother, she shouldn’t have to be one… but that doesn’t mean that the child shouldn’t get a chance with someone else.
Make adoption an easier and more affordable option. I know so many families that would LOVE to adopt, but it’s so expensive that it’s not an option. If more babies were being placed for adoption instead of aborted, there are plenty of homes available if the process was easier and affordable. Provide free counseling/therapy for the birth mother and adoptive family, and allow options where the birth mother can choose to be involved or not.
Make school and work schedules provide flexibility to allow women to be able to have children without worrying about sacrificing their education or career. Maybe help employers provide on-site child care when it makes sense. Provide more work from home options that require computer/paperwork and noise from children being at home won’t be an issue.
Make childcare options safe and affordable.
Make the men take responsibility for their part. Make it impossible for them to escape paying child support, if they can’t afford it, provide help to find them jobs that pay better or put them in jail for a while if they’re capable of working but refuse to.
Actually PUNISH the men who are raping women. Believe women when they report it, collect evidence, and prosecute men who are found guilty. Chemical castration is not enough. Cut the whole thing off, or put them in jail for life. The act of rape itself may not last more than a few minutes or hours for the man, but for the victim it NEVER goes away. It will haunt her for the rest of her life, affect all future relationships, cause unimaginable damage… we can’t let men keep walking away while the women never can escape the mental (and sometimes physical) damage it causes.
Educate everyone on the actual abortion procedure itself. Make videos and post it on social media. Explain the methods used to cause “fetal demise”, and at which point in pregnancy it’s used… watch the ultrasound footage of a baby trying to move away from the abortion instruments (Google “A Silent Scream)… realize that sometimes abortions are botched and the child is still born alive… and they have left those babies with no medical care so that they pass away alone. Share this information with anyone who looks for it, and anyone seeking an abortion. Don’t let them think it’s just an easy back up method of birth control, tell them the truth about thy physical development of the baby.
Try to change hookup culture. The fact is, when you choose to have sex, there is always the possibility of getting pregnant. We need to teach our young people that if you aren’t ready for the potential responsibility of a child, you need to either be super safe, or just wait to have sex. But there are still cases in long term or married relationships where expecting abstinence is just completely impractical. We need to help prevent pregnancy in those cases, or help relive the situations that make pregnancy undesirable.
Look at the babies born early in the NICU, and tell me that’s not a person. When someone has a miscarriage at 8 weeks, do we tell them it’s fine because it was just a clump of cells anyway? Why is a fetus considered a baby in a wanted pregnancy, but a parasite when it was unplanned? Either it’s a baby, or it’s not. And if it’s a baby, how can we fight for our right to kill it without restriction? There are still states that have NO gestation limit.
I feel terrible for the women that find themselves in a situation where abortion seems like their only option. But I truly believe there has to be ways to compromise to protect the women AND the babies. This isn’t a matter of hate. It’s a matter of life or death and we’ve got to do better.
If anyone else has ideas to help the women feel safe and supported again, please share!
