Nuclear conflict response

At the start of the Cold War, NATO and the USSR held each other in check with the threat of mutual annihilation.
While I believe our ultimate goal should be total nuclear disarmament, our world seems to need this deterrent.
The nuclear deterrent can be changed to target the heads of state rather than an entire population. Automatic targeting and launching of a full scale response must be removed from possibility. Likewise, such a full scale response must be taken from the hands of our executive. The decision to launch a nuclear arsenal sufficient to annihilate all life on our planet cannot be left in the hands of a single person with mere minutes to decide our fate. However, a limited response must remain available as deterrent.
This must be policy, public policy for all to know, and we need to do this first, without preconditions from our Cold War adversaries.