This is our chance to be heard. Child support is corrupt. The other parent does not get all of the money that is payed into child support and I’m not just speaking for myself I’m speaking on the millions of fathers in America that suffer the same as I do. It’s financial trap that’s why most fathers can’t afford an attorney to fight to see their own kids and it’s bad on their mental health and it’s one of the most common causes of suicide in most men. It’s not just me I found a group of fathers on social media that is going through what I am and that group is larger than a million So no it’s not just me. “Equal”would be if she could not support our child let me do it I don’t need her help that’s “Equal” don’t go and rob the fathers pockets because she made bad relationships choices. Now she’s getting child support and food stamps living off of your hard earned tax dollars because of her poor ass choices. Do you know what parental alienation is? Happens a lot more than you think and it’s sad. I never thought this could happen to me until it did. Now I’m having to defend my opinion to people who don’t even understand. At lease make a law to where if the mother needs child support give the father a chance to have primary custody before sticking your hands into his pockets that’s equal to me. I was never givin the chance and I’m still fighting till this day to be a father.
Any policy should apply to all people. It is not only women or only men. If your issue is about parental alienation it would be a matter for “A mediator, therapist, family counselor or child psychologist could help you figure out whether alienation is occurring and come up with a plan to improve your relationship with your child.”
The studies on parental alienation in non-abuse cases are gender neutral. Those in abuse cases are trying to distract from the abuse according to the research. ABSTRACT
Family court and abuse professionals have long been polarized over the use of parental alienation claims to discredit a mother alleging that the father has been abusive or is unsafe for the children. This paper reports the findings from an empirical study of ten years of U.S. cases involving abuse and alienation claims. The findings confirm that mothers’ claims of abuse, especially child physical or sexual abuse, increase their risk of losing custody, and that fathers’ cross-claims of alienation virtually double that risk. Alienation’s impact is gender-specific; fathers alleging mothers are abusive are not similarly undermined when mothers cross-claim alienation. In non-abuse cases, however, the data suggest that alienation has a more gender-neutral impact. These nuanced findings may help abuse and alienation professionals find some common ground.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09649069.2020.1701941
My issue is about all of it.
Abolish family courts, and revise the criminal statutes on DV because ive been assaulted by my kids mother and i was blamed for it. Court’s alter statements, disregard evidence, and force men to take charges. This system is killing families and men all around.
Way too many dead beats.
I’m sorry you’ve had to suffer through that.
Ive been a father since 16 in Indiana. As soon as i turned 18, cops have been jumping my fence over 1(one) missed payment. No warrants, reasoning, or explaination.
Since 26, ive been in and out of jail for DV which the atate knows is BS cause i got calls and witnesses but Allen County, Indiana, buries the truth for money.
I just did 1.5 years in county with government proof i did nothing fighting child abuse charges they couldnt convict me on, because the mother was mad at her boyfriend and took it out on me.
Cant find a lawyer to fight back for restitution.
Now 3 years and a tone of brainwashing needs fixed cause the state wanted money from my name in prison, which theyd get 30,000 for a first time prison inmate.
All money!!!
I can hardly find work cause i am held at the same level as murderers and rapists.
These women have no idea why," most," men just shut up and move one. I never had a Father and now i know why. But my three kids mean more to me than myself.
Fix mens rights across the board when statistics show women start DV but cannot finish it without claiming victimhood.
#UsToo
Moms?! Yes too many living off assistance.
I push through but thank you. We are not all POS. Just no one cares
9/10 the dead beat is a fabricated lie made up by the opposite parent.
Oh I can give you the entire history and can attest to the abuse as the mother was jailed for attacking me and the grandfather in front of the children. I have the pictures to prove everything. Believe me these children, now 14 and 17, and in their father’s custody suffered tremendously at the hands of their mother. You want details we can give you details.
I tried to get custody of my son to get him out of the foster care system when he was very young. His mother tried to kill him and the state took him and his siblings. I was put through a home study and during this the family services people were sending letters and forms for me to the wrong address. In the end I failed the home study because I didn’t return the paperwork I never received. When I discovered that they were using the wrong address and confronted them about it they claimed it was my fault for not ensuring they had the correct address. All the paperwork I submitted to them had the correct address on it from the very beginning.
They refused to take responsibility for their mistakes and grant me another home study and my son was forced to remain with his foster family and now resents me for not taking custody of him.
I often wonder if the wrong address prolem was an honest mistake or intentional. The way those people treated me was disgusting. As if I was a criminal despite being judged not at fault during the dependency case. The family services people were consistently nasty and hateful towards me and refused to cooperate with me in any way shape or form. During this time I was serving in the US Navy and they didn’t want to be involved and offered me no assistance of any kind either.
My family was destroyed by this. I’ve lived with the sadness, rage and regret for the past 20 years and will take it all to my grave with me.
Nothing I can say or do for my son will ever change his mind about me. They poisoned him against me for his entire life.
I’m sorry you had to suffer through this. You are not alone.
The wrong address thing seems to be a popular method with these children and families services and child support too. Over 18 years of paying child support so many times I never received important documents from them and this was their excuse. I got in the habit of updating my personal information with them in person each year even if it didn’t change. So then their next strategy was to send me documents with a response deadline and sent those a day before the deadline ensuring that I missed the deadline. So much for getting my yearly reviews….
I noticed that each time I went to their offices the person in charge was inevitably and obviously a lesbian. Says all you need to know.
This is a personal story you are sharing. I am very aware of a lot of men who abuse women and children. Have volunteered to help. Any policy must be neutral to any person. It’s not about bashing men or women. CASA is a national program created by a Judge to help in such situations. When there is abuse it is not just a divorce or custody issue. It involved social services. Telling me your personal story is not what I am referring to as details. I am talking about details about what in the court system or social service system was an issue and needs to be changed for the SYSTEM to work. Abuse cases are going to have to ensure safety for children and they also have to have evidence. The court cannot randomly make someone guilty of something because someone said it.
If there is a home study for me I would be double checking with the person coming confirming the time and address. It’s about the children not anything else. So I would absolutely be doing everything to ensure it went well including calling and making sure of the time and confirming an address. In addition, if there was an issue I would send a certified return receipt letter with the proper address. I would send an email to the social worker or appropriate person confirming the address and time. Then if there is an issue you have solid evidence that you gave the right information. I would be asking what the process is and if they need anything from me. When they tell me there is paperwork I would be asking how I can get that paperwork if it doesn’t show up. I would drive to the court house and pick it up or ask them to email it. If I wasn’t getting it I would also send a request certified return receipt. I would return it certified receipt. ESPECIALLY IF THERE ARE CHILDREN IN DANGER. We all know the government and many other organizations work this way. It’s unfortunate that incompetence occurs with things like addresses etc but you do have to reach out and ensure you are doing everything possible because it involves children. The Judge hears enough accusations and denials. You have to prove you did what you are supposed to because it is a court.
CASA is volunteers. It was started by a Judge who saw that Social Workers had too heavy of case loads and the children needed more attention. It is a National program.
When there are issues that you can specifically point out with the system they can get addressed. But they have to be focused on the system and they must be neutral in regard to they apply to all people not just women and not just men.
It’s a money making scheme. Call it for what it really is. Sugar coating shit don’t make it a brownie.
That’s not a policy and it is not trying to fix anything. What you are putting forward is unproductive.
If the mother cannot support the child and needs support. Giving Fathers a right to have full custody without child support before child support is pushed on them is not fair? I feel like you work for the corrupt system.
It’s about what is best for the CHILDREN. If that means being with the mother that is what should happen. You seem very focused on the fact that you have to pay child support. I don’t support removing child support. The children need to be taken care of regardless of the parents disagreements. A parent should not be awarded custody just because they don’t want to pay child support. That’s not focused on the child.
This is exactly why people should not have sex prior to marriage and should make sure they are entering a healthy marriage. The children are the ones who suffer.